If you are regular reader of my blogs then you will be familiar with me and my journey, experiencing the raw honesty of the good, bad and ugly of my adventures!!
I believe we are all on a journey of self discovery to find the true and authentic self which takes us through the highs and lows of continual growth. It reveals the masks we wear, the imperfections we hide and insecurities we are uncomfortable with and run from. We face biggest our fears, learn to compassion, love and acceptance of ourself and others. We learn to be grateful for the here and now. This is the school of Life and we are all the students and how much you show up for your lessons is up to you!
It can be overwhelming, trust me I know. I continue to revisit certain places and some days my journey feels like groundhog day! Until I learn the lessons I imagine I will continue the patterns.
However, if we look carefully then our truths are revealed and we begin learn who we really and step outside of the mould of who we think we shouldbe to fit in this crazy world!
When I moved here 5 and a half years ago I felt as if I totally lost myself. I then began to wonder did I ever have anything to loose or was I finally bringing attention to a void in my life through the drastic change of circumstances I was experiencing?
I soon discovered health and wellness which I found sparked something in me like I had never experienced before – I liked it and followed it faithfully becoming a “health guru”
However with this title came a certain pressure!!
I started to find that I couldn’t just have a piece of cake without someone seeing and commenting:
“Are YOUeating gluten?”or “is that sugar free?” or “Oh wow, YOUdrink alcohol!!”
Or people would make excuses for the things that they were eating as if I were about to judge them!! For the record what other people are eating is non of my business, I am too busy worrying about my own stuff!!
My inner judge would then scold me for not playing by the “health rules”. The perfectionist in me told me that I was failing at being a “healthy” role model and then I would feel guilty – the fun and enjoyment would be lost!
Recently on weekend away with my children my journey revealed something quite astounding to me…..
I am a health rebel!!
I have come to realise that I don’t play well by the rules, I never have for as long as I can remember. If I am told to do something then I will go ahead and do the exact opposite. Therefore all the health rules I was setting myself were in-fact sabotaging me rather than healing me!
So I decided I needed to write my own rules, which are more in alignment with my true self and if I am to totally honour this part of me then I need to be brutally honest and cut the BS, so here goes:
I LOVE healthy food, I get so much enJOYment out of food, preparing, cooking and eating fresh, vibrant, local fruit and vegetables. I eat a really good diet, it’s not perfect but I have been learning about what my body likes and trying to feed it in accordance to that rather than “on trend” with the latest health fad. I am constantly experimenting with foods, cultures and ways of eating (I avoid the word diet as it’s not something I believe in). This lights me up, this brings me so much joy and it is a true and authentic part of me which consumes about 85% of my being which follows with the natural ebbs and flows of life, circumstances and evolution, recognising it is ever changing and that is ok!
The other 15% (20% at times!) I am a health rebel that goes against all that I believe in and just wants to eat a slice of pizza (yes with gluten!) or a cupcake (yes with real disgusting sugar) or have a glass of wine (or 2). I have spent the last few years trying to change this believing that I wouldn’t be a good role model if I didn’t perfect this flaw I had created.
I was away with my children recently when the penny really dropped, we were ordering room service and they were super excited and wanted burger and chips – not the best choice but I went with it as it was a novelty for them. I looked at the menu thinking I should have something healthy all I could think about was ordering fish fingers and chips from the children’s menu!!! Obviously I fought this crazy idea and ran my eyes over the very unexciting salads that were not inspiring me.
Eventually I ordered myself fish fingers and chips from the kids menu and I enjoyed every single bite of it. My health rebel had spoken and finally I had acknowledged it, accepted it and changed the rules!!
Some people may read this and feel a sigh of relief as I know only too well that there is a lot of pressure around what we should and shouldn’t eat. And I am certainly not encouraging going out and binging on fish fingers and chips every night for dinner but more inspiring you to write your own rules, take the pressure off and enjoy the food that you like in moderation of course. Allow yourself treats and allow yourself to be a 15%-20% health rebel too – if YOU want!!
It is important to remember the power of the mind too, as your thoughts become your reality(an over used phase but SO true so worth taking note of) for example if you are comfortable with your 15-20% rebellion then your body will be too and it won’t be processed and dealt with as “bad” food. When you eat or drink something and mentally label it as a “bad” food your body process it in exactly that way – BAD and the effects are mirrored to reflect within.
So my point is to allow yourself to be rebel against the rules now and again and to encourage you to rewrite your rules! Some people may judge and thats fine too as that is their journey and their story, your story is the most important one and you are the author so make it a good one!!
I have been striving for balance for such a long time and finally I am finding mine here.
What are you striving for you in your life? Do you have a void that needs feeling? Are you out of balance in anyway? What secrets are you dying to get out there?
If you want to connect me with and discuss anything that is on your mind in a confidential meeting you can contact me here to arrange either a Skype or face to face meeting.
If you have any serious health issues or eating disorders I would advise you to see a specialist before making any changes to your diet.